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Golf Isn't a Sport

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I changed my middle-name to Freeones
New 2022 GOLF TERMINOLOGY:

A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Diego Maradonna - a nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Philip Schofield - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A Brazilian - Just shaved the hole
An O. J. Simpson - got away with it
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
An Elephant's arse - high and shitty
A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A Sister-in-law – you’re up there but you know you shouldn't be
 

Concrete Cock

I Ate Your Baby
Golf's existence is only justified because without it we wouldn't have Mario Golf.

Love Mario Golf. When I worked this one security job I had a dickhead for a boss. I was lazy too TBH. After my dinner break I'd yell across the club that I'm gonna go pinch off a loaf. He'd yell back, "Don't be taking that golf game in there and stay another fucking 45 minutes!" I grinned and shook my Gameboy Advance at him barely breaking stride. I got the fucker his job straight out of Columbus, Ohio and had him go share a place with my buddy. He's a bum too... probably literally by now. Dumb hick. Nobody wanted his job anyhow.
 

tvstrip

I changed my middle-name to Freeones

Bowling is right up there too - maybe even worse than golf.
What sport can you literally eat junk food while you are playing?
And no other sport has standard equipment which automatically rolls the ball back to you
 

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I changed my middle-name to Freeones
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Golf during a world war on the other hand, might be a little different...
 
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gmase

Nattering Nabob of Negativism
I think #3 would keep me off the course. Known bombs are marked, but how many unknown ones are out there? Finding one would definitely ruin the game.
 
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tvstrip

I changed my middle-name to Freeones
You'd have to be pretty hardcore if unexploded ordinance and bomb craters on the course don't stop you from playing.
 

Torre82

Moderator \ Jannie
Staff member
They are all sports simply because they are also not NOT sports.

Varying levels of competition, rules, interactivity, physicality and enjoyment.. yeah, there is all that.

But i would argue the slippery slope point that physicality is a drug - it is hard to baseball after you go football. It is hard to boxing when you go UFC, etc.

Much like the internet.
10 year old me: ooh, boobies.
20 yr old me: gawd these things are so squishy
30 yr old me: dvp? From which angle? Video length? Age? Please tell me it's amateur slums crackheads!
40 yr old me: i have seen it all. And i am bored. But not enough to indulge that slippery slope just to nut a lil harder. Bore me slowly, pron. :) We got all night to hit par. Asking for an eagle every time is not feasible.

A golf post on a porn site being answered like a porn question with allusions to how boring golf is, with other sports being extreme? Kay
 
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